Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm passing your future prison.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
