I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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