He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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