why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
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Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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