No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
