I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I smell like Dick and happiness
I am mentally ready for anal.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
