When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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