Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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