Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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