508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
