she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
MIDGETS
????
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
