Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize