remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
