Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you had me at cake vodka
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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