guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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