he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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