i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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