We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
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Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How does it feel to date your dad?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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