Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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