Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
