I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
