My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Too much gin, very little bucket
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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