I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
