i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
