we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
