I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
