I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
