yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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