i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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