my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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