that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize