dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
