I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
