ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
