South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
my liver is dry heaving
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