whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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