shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You're like the curious george of whores
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
