Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
