i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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