i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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