I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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