So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
