Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize