I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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