you traded sex for a burrito?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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