butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize