Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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