I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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