I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
