Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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