A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
