Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
