Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We need to get me chipped asap
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
