Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize