I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
