"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
