we made out on top of his cat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize