We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
